The Manager 
Y.M.C.A. Hotel 
LONDON 

Roma 28 sept. 1981 

Dear signore Direttore, Noew I am tella you story wot I was a-treated at jour 
hotella. 

I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a-younga christian man 
at your hotella. 

When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep with 
no shit in my bed? So I calla down receptione and tella: "I wanta shit" They 
tella me: "Go to toilet" I say:"No, no I wanta shit in my bed". They say: "You'd
better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch". What is sonna-wa-bitch? 

I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis 
of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: 
"I wanta piss". She tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "No, no I wanta piss on my 
plate". She then say to me: "You bloody wella not piss on the plate, you 
sonna-wa-bitch". 

This is the second person who do not even know me calla me "sonna.wa.bitch", 
and why is your staff replying "Go to toilet", is that a modern tella? I do no 
undestand, please tella me! 

Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no 
fock. I tella waitress: "I wanta fock". And she tella me: "Sure, everyone wanta 
fock". I tella her: "No, no you don't understanda me, I wanta fock on the 
table". She tella me: "Soyou sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your 
ass out of here!" How comma this christian hotella tella the guest in such bad
manner? 

So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotel no more. 
When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: "Thank you, and piss on 
You". I say: "Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch. I now go back to Italy". 
Directore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch. 

Sincerely 
Dicci Elgre